I got to thinking today about a few things regarding my faith (what else are you supposed to do in weather like this... besides fight the rain and cold to try a new church out?). No I am not a crazy, introspective person most of the time. Yes, I have faith, but it's still growing and no I do not always succeed in being a woman of the Lord. I'm human... I have faults, and trust me there are many! I just try to be a good person and try to do the best I can to remember to pray and put others first as much as I can. It's hard... it's hard when we live in a world that's so focused on doing things for ourselves a lot of the time. Anyhow, sitting in church this morning (a new one, by the way... I'm still trying to find a new church home) listening to the pastor talk about how we have to make God first in our lives (which of course I sat there and nodded my head, because I know this... do I always succeed in doing this? Of course not... it's difficult to put your complete, and full trust in an entity you can't physically see!) I knew that this was true. Then the next segment of church showcased a phrase that the church used last weekend as they went out into the community and did works of God... works of service to the community in the form of providing food, or cleaning services, etc... "Don't just go to church... BE the church."
"WOW," I thought to myself, "have I been truly doing this? Am I just going through the motions most of the time? Do I ever truly just brim over with God's love and work in service of Him?" I try to... I can say that, but do I try constantly, 100% of the time? Do I only try when it's convenient for me to do so? Do I spend money on myself without first thinking of how much money I could set aside per month to put into servicing others? Man... I'm selfish. Then I thought about the good things I have in fact done, and I didn't feel as bad... I'm not completely selfish. I do give to charity organizations... and for Heaven's sake I'm molding the young minds of society by setting an example of a compassionate, and nice person.
Anyhow, I hope that I can do better in this arena of my life... it's something I constantly have to strive towards. Especially the giving myself and problems and worries completely over to Christ. That's a hard one for me... I don't know if it's because I can't trust things to be okay, or because I have some control issues I'm not aware of.... but I think if I could just fully put my trust in God and hand all my worries over to him, things may be different in my life. I need to just let God take care of me.
Okay... now that I'm off my Holy Soapbox... I think I may actually have a better week this week...!
