I'm ready for this weekend to be over!

That's saying a lot because I generally can't stand when weekends are over! Friday I got a call from my mom at the end of the school day and she left me a vm telling me my aunt had been taken to the hospital. They thought she'd possibly had a stroke. Turns out through some tests the neurologists did Friday evening, they were pretty sure she'd had an attack of Transient Global Amnesia. However, this didn't exactly explain her EXTREMELY high blood pressure. I think that's why they decided to keep her in the hospital 2 nights. Needless to say, the rest of the family had to pitch in to take care of my Grandma who lives with my aunt and uncle since my aunt was unable to care for her. The rest of the time yesterday I busied myself with laundry. Got 3 loads done!

Begin Rant:

In other news, I'm starting to grow a little less tolerant of the way friends treat me. I DO NOT like when friends make plans with me only to cancel day of. It's rude and it makes me feel like crap. Like they have better things to do than hang out with me. I understand if your child gets sick, or YOU get sick... that's a reason to cancel. But because you have better things to do...? RUDE. It's rude to get your friend's hopes up about hanging out only to cancel later... in fact, I don't even ever get excited anymore about plans that get set because I know they will most likely not occur. Call me pessimistic if you want. What's more, I love how I finally said something, after this particular friend has done this for several months, and even threw in the reminder that she didn't speak with her mom for 1-1/2 month for the EXACT SAME REASON, and I haven't gotten any form of apology for cancelling or for hurting my feelings in this way. Instead, it seems rather than making plans with me, she waits until the day of to see if I want to do something... now maybe this isn't truly what she's doing, because it's only been 2 days since this happened... but I think she's missing the point... I don't like having conversations like this with my friends, but it appears I may soon have to. I may soon have to have the painful discussion of, "you can't expect me to work around your schedule 100% of the time anymore now that I will have the demands of my job as well tying me up... you have to be sensitive to that, or swallow the idea of just not being able to see me..." I mean, jeez... I know I'M the single one without a kid and all... but that's not a reason to expect me to bend to you all of the time. I have a family too... it may not be a family that I started... but it's my family, and they matter, too. Any advice would be great on how I should deal with this... but I think I may just have to be blunt.

UPDATE: continued...

So, I had an interview last Thursday. I thought it went pretty well, but I always think that about interviews. I had already interviewed at this campus before, so I didn't quite understand why they were interviewing me now when they'd already passed me up previously. Nevertheless, I found out Monday (unofficially) that I got the job! I say "unofficially" because I know that they chose me and submitted my name to the HR Dept. HR is the one I'll get the job offer from, but they have a slew of paperwork to tackle before they can do that! I will start the end of February. It's a 4th grade class, and I'm SUPER-DUPER EXCITED! :-D Anyhow... I will post more as things happen... such as, when I get to go to my room and see it and start working on getting it put together, etc. I will post some pictures... I CAN'T WAIT!!!

UPDATE

Good news will be posted later... I simply don't have the time as of yet, but I will post later, and it will be something HAPPY to read!

Emotional Rollercoaster

Man... I have seriously realized I am emotionally spent for the week... I realized on Monday... which is sad in and of itself! One of the students I work with wasn't at school Monday... we later learned it was because his foster mom had had a massive stroke Friday. She's in ICU and unresponsive, and they don't think she'll make it. Fortunately when he returned yesterday, he seemed to be in good spirits and has been fine. My student, however, has worn the same pants 4 of the last 5 days of school. Undies change, pants do not... they're dirty... and starting to smell. I've been documenting this all, and need to speak with the social worker ASAP regarding all of this.

And on top of it all I've been pretty tired still... I'm not 100% over the "sinus infection" which I now believe to be viral... because I've been on antibiotics all this time (I have one pill left), and I'm STILL not feeling great... my vocal chords have been put through the ringer... my voice is still hoarse (I don't sound normal) and I don't quite know what to do... I can't rest it in my job. I'm hoping that the 3 day weekend will provide an opportunity to rest it well.

All these things have brought me down... I'm constantly trying to stay positive and optimistic through it all... but I'm just having a difficult time of it lately. Hopefully some time with the gals this weekend will cheer me up. JBear and I plan on a dinner/movie night... and Daughn and I will squeeze some QT in somewhere... I miss her dearly... we've barely seen each other in the past 3 months... just too much going on!

A little bummed

I'm beginning to realize I don't have very many single gal friends anymore. One of my closest friends is married with a 4.5 year old. I love her to death. She's really more like a sister. But she's been so busy with her little family the past couple months, I hardly ever see her. So my next go-to is my other long-term bestie... but she's now in a relationship... which surely means she will be more and more distant over the next few months. And where I am left? Alone. My other really good best friend is now living in Canada. In Toronto, Canada to be exact... which is REALLY far from Texas. I don't just want a boyfriend that will close the gap. I mean, I would like a boyfriend period. I think I'm finally ready for it... now that I've completely come to terms with someone else in my life not being there anymore, that is. Anyhow, I want a boyfriend that I can do things with my group of friends... but what do I do when my group of friends is dwindling away? Sometimes I feel like the only time I get with my best friend nowadays is when she's running errands and I can tag along for a bit. But you can't really have a meaningful conversation during that time. Maybe I'm just being silly and hormonal... but I really and truly miss it all. There was a time when I spent EASILY 3 nights a week hanging out with her and her little family... and now I'm doing good to see them once or twice a month. It's depressing.. and I'm depressed.

Resolutions

I don't usually make "resolutions" but I have a few goals... not necessarily to be completed within a year's time... but just things I'd like to accomplish.

• I would like to get over my fear of singing in front of others. I think it would be really fun to go and sing at a karaoke bar or something to break the ice... then maybe I will be more inclined to get involved with a band or church band or something.
• I would like to get a LOT better on guitar. The first step to this is blocking out more time to jam.
• I would like to devote more time to my lyric writing. I used to write lyrics often, and I haven't picked up a pen to write any in my lyrics journal in probably 4 or 5 years. I think it'd be a good outlet.
• Overall, I want to be healthier. I'm fairly good about watching what I eat on a regular basis (I have my slip ups every now and then, but EVERYONE does... I just try to get back on track ASAP!) but I want to make sure I'm eating more fresh fruits and veggies.
• In going with being more healthy, I need to make sure I'm getting a good amount of cardio in every week. I think that if I can block out AT LEAST 30 minutes of cardio every day I'll be better for it. While I lost weight last year, I'm still not as healthy as I'd like to be as far as exercising. I need to just go straight to the gym from work and get it done!
• I want to try teaching a lesson AT LEAST every 2 weeks... hopefully one a week. And not just in Michele's class... I'd like to teach lessons in different grade levels! I think it'll be a great thing to add to my resume as well as keeping ideas fresh in my mind. I forgot what it's like to work with a class-full of students as opposed to the 3-4 person small groups I've gotten used to in the SpecEd Dept.
• I want to be generally more appreciative of my family. I think moving back in with my parents has caused me to get very irked at the small things. I need to be more appreciative that I have the wonderful parents I have and not be in such a rush to get away from them. I should cherish the time I have with them one-on-one because it won't last forever.
• I want to be more open to trusting the opposite sex and relationships. I've been lucky enough to meet someone that I really and truly click with... it would be nice if something can develop there. This can only happen if I don't screw things up by being paranoid and insecure due to my past... this is a work in progress and I just have to hope that he'll be the guy that can handle my "quirks" brought on by my horrid relationships past.
• Lastly, I want to make sure I blog on a more regular basis. Even if this means blocking out a specific day a week to have an update of what's going on... or even just mapping out a topic list of things to blog on over the course of the next year. Sometimes my life gets so scheduled and repetitive that I find myself blogging about the same things... there's no way that's interesting to read... maybe it is, though... I don't know... I don't judge what others like (while I don't mind an update of my fellow bloggers' lives... I don't know that a topic of such is everyone's cup of tea!)

That's it for now... that's a pretty hefty list...! Thank goodness I don't plan on tackling ALL of that in a year!!! I'll just say I would like to at least START tackling them within the year... for continuation from this year on! :-D I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year's Day; my parents and I ate black eyed peas for dinner... prior to this I went back to bed today because I got a total of 4 hours of sleep (on and off) due to coughing all night long. I feel better now, so I'm hoping that I'll sleep better tonight... I need to get back on schedule before work starts back up next week! At least I only have to make it to the 3 day weekend for some more rest, though! 2 weeks and a 3-day weekend!

Peace, Love, Happiness

Kels