Growing apart...

It's never easy losing friends. Especially friends that you've had for 20+ years.

Unfortunately, I'm having to phase someone out of my life because of the person they've chosen to date. This person is a TOXIC force in their life, but they refuse to see it... or they are too lazy to look or don't think they deserve to NOT settle. I don't know the real reason, honestly.

What alarms me is the changes this significant other of theirs said he would make... he isn't making. At all. Not in any way that matters, at least. Admittedly, he won't even get the chance with me... They dated for about 3 years... she was totally unhappy... they split up and got back together about 20 times in a month. It was ridiculous... they'd break up, and the next day he'd show up in her office crying, and begging her to come back (unstable, btw)... What was the final straw was when he called her after they'd split talking about jumping off a bridge here in town... the police actually came and got him and took him in... he wasn't still getting ready to jump at that point, he was in his car pulled off on the side of the road on the bridge; therefore, they couldn't charge him with anything, he was drunk so they took him in and put him in a holding cell until someone could come pick him up. He STILL attempted getting her back. Even going as far as messaging me... wrong move, buddy. I let him have it. He wanted me to A)Not tell my friend he'd contacted me... first time EVER contacting me, btw, in the 3 years they dated... and B)wanted me to call him... Um, no.

Anyhow, so they were split for about 1.5-2 months... and I found out upon coming back from Canada they'd gotten back together. REALLY???? Obviously this person has issues if they'd consider KILLING themselves. Anyhow... she apparently feels he's all better after going to counseling for a month. He said the ways he would change were to hang out with her family and friends more. Well, he will never see me... so let's let that alone... But I'm pretty sure he hasn't had ANY interaction with any of her family. WTF??? He's back to the same-old-same, and SHE DOESN'T SEE IT. Am I wrong for feeling this way??? I don't want to be around someone like that... especially after I was really blunt with him... I don't want to be around her by default because I'm afraid he may show up if we go to do something together. Ugh... I know that he doesn't really do anything with anyone she was friends with before him and they always hang out with his friends because I see her FB tags for when they're out... all the people tagged are HIS FRIENDS.

I just don't get it. I know one of the reasons I'm single is because I will NOT settle... but, I'm okay being single if it means I don't A)sacrifice myself and my identity for someone else, and B)I don't date a jerk just to not be single!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

::end rant::

I'm ready for this weekend to be over!

That's saying a lot because I generally can't stand when weekends are over! Friday I got a call from my mom at the end of the school day and she left me a vm telling me my aunt had been taken to the hospital. They thought she'd possibly had a stroke. Turns out through some tests the neurologists did Friday evening, they were pretty sure she'd had an attack of Transient Global Amnesia. However, this didn't exactly explain her EXTREMELY high blood pressure. I think that's why they decided to keep her in the hospital 2 nights. Needless to say, the rest of the family had to pitch in to take care of my Grandma who lives with my aunt and uncle since my aunt was unable to care for her. The rest of the time yesterday I busied myself with laundry. Got 3 loads done!

Begin Rant:

In other news, I'm starting to grow a little less tolerant of the way friends treat me. I DO NOT like when friends make plans with me only to cancel day of. It's rude and it makes me feel like crap. Like they have better things to do than hang out with me. I understand if your child gets sick, or YOU get sick... that's a reason to cancel. But because you have better things to do...? RUDE. It's rude to get your friend's hopes up about hanging out only to cancel later... in fact, I don't even ever get excited anymore about plans that get set because I know they will most likely not occur. Call me pessimistic if you want. What's more, I love how I finally said something, after this particular friend has done this for several months, and even threw in the reminder that she didn't speak with her mom for 1-1/2 month for the EXACT SAME REASON, and I haven't gotten any form of apology for cancelling or for hurting my feelings in this way. Instead, it seems rather than making plans with me, she waits until the day of to see if I want to do something... now maybe this isn't truly what she's doing, because it's only been 2 days since this happened... but I think she's missing the point... I don't like having conversations like this with my friends, but it appears I may soon have to. I may soon have to have the painful discussion of, "you can't expect me to work around your schedule 100% of the time anymore now that I will have the demands of my job as well tying me up... you have to be sensitive to that, or swallow the idea of just not being able to see me..." I mean, jeez... I know I'M the single one without a kid and all... but that's not a reason to expect me to bend to you all of the time. I have a family too... it may not be a family that I started... but it's my family, and they matter, too. Any advice would be great on how I should deal with this... but I think I may just have to be blunt.