I realized recently that I have become a non-believer. No not a non-believer in God and Jesus Christ... but a non-believer in love. How did I come to realize this...? I was watching various movies recently and I noticed that I had no reaction at all to anything romantic or gushing with love and sentiments. I remember when I was younger, if I'd see two people in a movie kiss or share a romantic moment I felt a flutter in my heart. I think I've been burned too many times or something... because I just don't feel that anymore, or even feel as if I have any hope of feeling that ever again. I think I've finally reached that point... that point I've been afraid of...that point when someone will come into my life and I'll resist it... or not believe they are genuine or that things they say are heartfelt at all. I'm also at that point everyone talks about... the moment in your life where you aren't looking and something is supposed to just pop into place.
I think a lot of these feelings of indifference stem from the fact that I'm so much more focused on obtaining a full time teaching job... that I don't really think of that aspect of my life. It's more important to me to get settled into a job... and get a new place and all... before I even THINK of finding a significant other.
Interesting epiphany I had recently...
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