Things feel weird

I don't know what's up this year. I think work is about to drive me crazy. I've been really on edge, and I know that... but I didn't think it was THAT obvious to others until one of my co-workers who I don't get to see a WHOLE lot of this school year told me that I just didn't seem like the normal, cheery me. And I completely agree. I think that my job this year is much more emotionally draining.

The end of this week just about sent me on my plunge... my downward spiral. I just got hit with a LOT of things at once. I pretty much just had the crappiest week this year... which included one of the teachers I work with being absolutely and completely unprofessional with me... basically I got talked down to and chastised like she would one of her students... IN FRONT OF ALL OF THEM. Did it piss me off? Yes... because she was talking down to me because I'm an aide... and while I know I'm an aide and not a teacher yet, it by no means is a reflection of the fact that I'm OVER qualified to be a teacher... I have 4 certifications and a degree where I graduated on the Dean's List. For her to talk down to me on personal time is one thing... fine... I can deal with that... but for her to do that in front of students I work with was completely uncalled for and I let her know that it WILL NOT happen again. If so, I have email documentation that I have discussed with her how to handle situations like that with me so that I'm not losing my level of authority with students I work with in the school.

All I wanted to do this weekend... what I'd looked forward to all week... was getting away. And then when I got home yesterday I found out plans for this weekend had changed. THEN, later my Dad jumped on me by telling me after all the things that happened in the news this week, I should be glad that I just had a bad work week... because it could be worse. Thanks for saying I'm ungrateful, and also for smashing rock salt into my wounds... really a simple, "I'm sorry you had a bad week," would've sufficed. Then later on in the evening I found out that L.A. has been cancelled also. It is what it is... I'll deal with it... but that is a WHOLE lot of shit to hit the fan at once.

Anyhow, my Dad comes to my door this morning asking if I want to go do my plans that had been scheduled for today. I kinda snapped at him... after all, he told me no last night, and for him to ask me this morning is like trying to save face... and then in the meantime late last night I read about some stipulations with my weekend getaway, and so I knew that I would ideally have to leave the house around 8am to make it on time and not worry about having to wait in a line. To come ask me at 9... when I'm nowhere NEAR ready to go... sorry... I'm not going to drive 2-1/2 hours to be told I have to wait in a line all day long.... or not get to enter until 5. So I've opted to stay home and do laundry. I just want to be by myself. I don't feel social at all... I'm run down, and all I want to do is sleep. Maybe I'm depressed.